I'm lookin for a good pair of walking shoes

It has been a while since my last post, however everything goes well.

Today I had an interesting "conversation" with God. During the past week there have been some situations that have come up that have made me mad, frustrated, and quite frankly pissed off. My apologies to those for the rudeness of my chosen words. I wont go into details to protect the privacy of those people of whom I shall speak of.
There is a aching in my spirit, the kind of aching that is best described as a dog that awaits patiently for his master to come home after a long day at work. Or put superspiritually, as a father awaiting the return of his prodigal son. I'm this way because the church plant that I am a part of is about an hour away from its master to bust through the door and send me out into the yard to play fetch. Or put superspiritually, I can see my son about a mile up the road on his way back from a long journey away from home and I cant wait to put my arms around him.

This week the aching has been worse than others, and what I thought was a piece of the big puzzle of our church plant coming together turned out to be something that seemed to fit, but unfortunately is going to fit into another puzzle, and that pissed me off and frustrated me for a bunch of reasons. With this in mind lets talk about my conversation with God. This very vague situation that I describe has been drilling away at my head for about a week now, so I questioned God on why the piece of the puzzle didn't fit. I was driving in my car venting to Him about all this when some song lyrics from my CD player interupted my tantrum. As I listened, I realized God was talking back to me through these lyrics.

Lyrics:

I don't understand your ways
Oh but I will give my song
give you all of my praise
you hold on to all my pain
with it you are pulling me closer
and pulling me into your ways

Now around every corner
up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
or water from fountains
I desperate in seeking, frantic believing
that the sight of your face
is all that I'm needing
I will say to you

Its gonna be worth it,
Its gonna be worth it all,
I believe this.
Its gonna be worth it,
Its gonna be worth it all,
I believe this.

What struck me was the lyrics in the chorus. The writer realizes that this life we live as Christians is not about crowning ourselves with the talents that God graciously gives us to edify the church. Its not even about seeking to be crowned "king worship leader","queen children's pastor",or "King Senior Pastor".The Holy Spirit is not a spiritual coke machine that we draw from when we are needing refreshment. These are the kind of things that I have seen in The American Church and have been purged out of my spiritual system.This is the reason for the aching I feel for the real thing to show up and bust throughout the doors into our church plant. Our lives as Christians are about seeking God. It is a journey. Journeys are hard, long, and require the patience and endurance to see them through.

With that in mind lets go back to what pissed me off. I can understand why Jesus used the term "those with ears let them hear what the spirit says to the church." With all the knowledge and wisdom of friends, pastors, and spiritual leaders it seems that some followers of God just don't get it. They don't get that seeking requires "seeking". Searching requires you to search. Following requires you to follow. All these things require action which in turn requires time. So there are some that I come in contact with that don't understand the concept of the process of the journey even though they have been spoonfed the same gospel as I have.

It is these Christians who often will settle for the crowns of righteousness as the finish line in their pursuit of ultimate spirituality. They consider these "titles" as careers, thus they seem to become the spoils of victory in Jesus. This thinking makes me upset. These crowns are the important spiritual positions that every Christian is tempted to acquire but few attain. It is unfortunate that these same people are the ones that often are the ones that lead us to the fountain to drink of the water from God. Now, there are some that do this with humility, however more often than naught these leaders often ban together and concoct a wild potion of spiritual gifts on Sunday in hopes of bringing down the Holy Spirit in a supernatural event. Now, once again, I love the presence of God, however those who seek to make Sunday as the day that you meet God and put pressure on themselves to perform their talents to somehow attract God's attention...Those are the ones I'm pissed off at. Those are the people who ,like the multitudes just took from Jesus. They didn't join him on the Journey. They didn't follow, they didn't seek, they just took from a gracious God who loved so much that he gave to all. These same people unfortunately are in our churches, at the alter Sunday after Sunday, taking instead of making the hard effort to follow. More often than naught they are lead by those who seek crowns and not sandals.

I am walking this journey, this wild adventure with the Holy One. That is why I ache. I ache because I am desperately seeking, frantically believing that the day I see his face is all I needed, is all I'm searching for. And I haven't seen it yet. I see blurry visions of Him, and it keeps me going. It is going to be worth it.

I say all this because God in our conversation told me our church plant aches as a whole because we don't seek crowns. We don't treat him like a vending machine. If you happen to stumble upon us, chances are you won't be able to tell who the pastor is, who leads worship, or who our awesome youth pastor is. We kinda like it like that. We move as one body together, caring for each other because we know that if one part is hurting or damaged, the whole is affected. People who search for crowns, who treat God as a vending machine, hurt the body. People who search, who walk, who seek, strengthen the body through their personal journeys, and stories of God in their lives. I love when God's presence fills our sanctuary, but that is not the end result of my relationship with him, like good sex at the end of a date. I love to pastor and teach our fellowship, however that is not the crown of victory for me. The crown is with Jesus up there in heaven, and it is a long journey to get there.
And God says to walk.. Because its going to be worth it all. All of our travels up the mountains and down in the valleys of our lives is going to be worth it one day.

I'm lookin for a good pair of walking shoes.


Whip......